Just keep swimming

markruffalo:

femmercutio:

girls don’t like boys, girls like halloween and mark ruffalo’s tumblr account

I like Halloween and Tumblr, too.

knowledgeandlove:

videohall:

Husky dog performs her overly dramatic death trick.

I’ve wasted fifteen minutes of my life watching this 8 second long video. 

madmattwithabox:

I think there’s an exception.

Quite proud of my first gif!

madmadsmadly:

eziocauthon89:

If you say you didn’t read this in his accent, you’re a liar

"his accent" if you didnt read it in the exact same goddamn voice and tone and think of the way his head turned you’re a goddamn disgrace

madmadsmadly:

eziocauthon89:

If you say you didn’t read this in his accent, you’re a liar

"his accent" if you didnt read it in the exact same goddamn voice and tone and think of the way his head turned you’re a goddamn disgrace

nobody-but-mebody:

peter-pans-booty-shorts:

ohhowlucky:

danteogodofsoup:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

standupcomedyblog:

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

This is my favorite story ever and I will reblog it every time I see it.

please actually go listen to this to get the full feeling of this joke it’s amazing

lettinggosthehardestpart:

camembertlylegal:

deadlydinos:

Once I was walking home with some law school friends and they were like ”Why are you walking up that street your street is like three more streets up”

"Yeah but there’s a house on this street and sometimes their golden…

mekansm:

my life changed when I found out what soulja boy was actually talking about

image

I was singing along to that when I was 12

ellierose101:

striderkid:

dokidoki-artichokee:

hamburgurl:

1 universe, 9 planets, 7 seas, 7 continents, 809 islands, 204 countries, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting u

THERE ARE 8 PLANETS, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE.

VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU

I’m pretty sure “Viva la Pluto fuck you” is the best sentence I’ve heard all week. 

dualpaperbags:

paulmcfruity:

This Icelandic police force has the most adorable Instagram account 

Meet the Reykjavík Metropolitan Police, serving the capital of Iceland. By the looks of their incredible Instagram account, a normal day includes holding kittens, eating candy and wearing false mustaches.

There’s more where those came from | Follow micdotcom

For the record the Icelandic police are probably the best police force in the world, There has only been one instance where an officer shot and killed a civilian in the entire history of the country (which is nearly a hundred years) and everyone was completely devastated by it, the police especially — because, as made clear in their statements after the incident, they understand their function is to protect the people. Not to mention that their general police go unarmed except for special squads.

Let’s run through some more facts while we’re on the subject: Compared to 31,000+ shooting deaths in the US in 2009, Iceland had… 4, because they have very rigorous screening processes for gun permits. There is very little economic disparity between upper, middle and lower classes, and social welfare programs take care of their people. Drug use affects less than 1% of the population between 15 and 65 years old, and 90% of drug-related court cases are settled with a fine rather than jail time. Violent crime is virtually non-existent. [x]

Iceland is like if you took the entire idea of chill and personified it as an country, and this exemplifies that. 

digg:

Now this is the future of fashion.

digg:

Now this is the future of fashion.

rifa:

hobopoppins:

manaphy:

wow I didn’t know fuckin chocolate eggs were gendered

OKAY LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT THE FUCKING PINK EGGS.
I work at a concession stand in an ice rink. We sell a bunch of chocolate bars and snacks and shit including Kinder Surprise eggs.
So one day this woman comes up to the counter with her two little kids, a girl who’s probably about 6 or 7 and a little boy, maybe 3 or 4. The mom asks what they want, the little girl points at the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if she wanted the white or the pink egg. She said pink. The little boy pointed to the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if he wanted the white or the pink egg. He said pink. HOLY SHIT IT WAS LIKE I OPENED THE GATES OF HELL. The mom absolutely FLIPPED and was like “YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE PINK EGG IT’S ONLY FOR GIRLS. YOU CAN GET THE WHITE ONE OR NOTHING AT ALL”. The little boy looked at his mom and said “But I want the same as ______ (whatever the sister’s name was)”. The mom completely ignored him and turned to me and gave me a death glare. “He can have the white egg.”
I had to give a little boy a white egg when he wanted the pink so that he could be the same as his big sister and he started crying. The mom just reiterated that the pink egg was for girls and told him that boys don’t cry.
And this is why we shouldn’t gender fucking chocolate eggs.

i dont understand parents like that liek what the fuck its more worth it to you to yell and embarass and upset your child than let them have a chocolate in a pink wrapper wtf

rifa:

hobopoppins:

manaphy:

wow I didn’t know fuckin chocolate eggs were gendered

OKAY LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT THE FUCKING PINK EGGS.

I work at a concession stand in an ice rink. We sell a bunch of chocolate bars and snacks and shit including Kinder Surprise eggs.

So one day this woman comes up to the counter with her two little kids, a girl who’s probably about 6 or 7 and a little boy, maybe 3 or 4. The mom asks what they want, the little girl points at the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if she wanted the white or the pink egg. She said pink. The little boy pointed to the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if he wanted the white or the pink egg. He said pink. HOLY SHIT IT WAS LIKE I OPENED THE GATES OF HELL. The mom absolutely FLIPPED and was like “YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE PINK EGG IT’S ONLY FOR GIRLS. YOU CAN GET THE WHITE ONE OR NOTHING AT ALL”. The little boy looked at his mom and said “But I want the same as ______ (whatever the sister’s name was)”. The mom completely ignored him and turned to me and gave me a death glare. “He can have the white egg.”

I had to give a little boy a white egg when he wanted the pink so that he could be the same as his big sister and he started crying. The mom just reiterated that the pink egg was for girls and told him that boys don’t cry.

And this is why we shouldn’t gender fucking chocolate eggs.

i dont understand parents like that liek what the fuck its more worth it to you to yell and embarass and upset your child than let them have a chocolate in a pink wrapper wtf